To My Friend Who is Now a Shadow of Herself

by gold Adjo - 17:18:00

I hope you can read this till the end because I wrote this purposely for you. Don’t get too mad. We just want you back, the real you not the you you’re right now but the true you. We miss you and love you. Please do not continue to shut us out. Hope you do read this and at least it makes a good impact on.

I want to write about you but I don’t know where to start. I guess this is not one of my usual blog posts. You’re so close yet so distant. We talk, we laugh, we love and we share together yet I can’t name what it is that we now have. Yes, we say we are friends and people call us friends but can the word ‘friend’ really truly define and encompass who we are? Does the word hold all we have and have been through?

'You’re my sister from another mother!’ I think that expression best describes us. We’ve not known each other so long that I can say we’ve known each other forever. We hit it off quickly when a mutual friend introduced us and became great friends. I thought I knew you but now am not so sure. I know you’re emotional and tend to interpret things usually in a negative way. That got on my nerves so many times, so in the words of Joel Osteen I tell you you’ve got the wrong record playing in your mind it’s time you got rid of it and played the right one. Decide to look at the positives first and focus on those and not the bad ones.

We had our differences and had our share of fights. We argued and talked for hours about how you dressed. I apologise once again for saying that you dressed like a kid but you know I was right. I was so excited when you started dressing like the full grown woman that you are but alas, that joy was short lived. Now, the way you dress is simply ridiculous. I know you love God and really want to serve Him but cutting your hair and dressing like someone in the 80’s is not the way. I think you should read Americanah, there is a character in there that depicts the phase you’re passing through. John 4:23 says “But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. (KJV)”

We had days when we couldn’t stand each other but I’ve always felt like your big sister.

On the surface people still think we’re as close as we used to be. I would like to think that we are but I don’t know what to make of what we have now. It is difficult to get through to you when you pull the blinds up on everyone with me included. You’ve shut everyone out. I have noticed you do not say what you really want to say. You listen quietly as we talk but we never know what you’re really thinking. I would rather that you screamed and threw a tantrum than this indifference. How do we help you when you’ll not let us into the world you now live in in your mind? I wish at least you would be angry and fight but we only get silence and a cold shoulder from you.

I see you losing yourself months and months unending. You’re but a pale shadow of who you used to be and still are if only you would allow yourself to be. Don’t block us out, don’t block me out. Let us in so we can help you! I know you think you’ve got it all figured out and that you’re strong and capable of facing this alone. I don’t doubt that you’re strong I believe that you’re but no one has all the answers. It is okay to be vulnerable sometimes, it is okay to lose your way sometimes, it is okay to cry when you have to and it is okay to be human. You deny that you’re depressed but say that you’ve been through so much heart ache. I know you’re scared because you have been hurt many times and life hasn’t gone the way you wanted it to but cheer up, all things work together for your good. When God says all things He means all things.

You probably feel like you’re in a maze and you’re working your way out but I fear that you’ll lose too much of yourself before you find your way out. I know you’re tired of hearing us all talk and our advice on how you should resolve this. I know you think that no one understands you or has been through what you’ve been through and dealing with right now. But I want you to know that I love you and God does too. You’re such a wonderful person, you’re so beautiful both on the inside and outside. I want you to know that I believe in you. Yes, I do believe in you. I want you to go back to being you. I miss my friend, my little sister. I miss our pizza days out and remember how we would quickly leave after fellowship to go get ice cream? I miss even our fights! I miss you! Come back to us. Together we can beat this!

I hate that you’ve resigned yourself to your current situation and it breaks my heart that you now believe that ‘whatever will happen will happen’. I’m sorry to disappoint you dear but life doesn’t work that way and God doesn’t either. The lethargy and apathy you feel right now are just a tool to get you stuck so that you cannot accomplish your purpose. Faith requires that you act and not throw up your hands in the air. The Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God (Heb 11:6 ) and defines faith as “Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].AMP”

It is time to get your life back! Do not hold yourself back anymore. I ask you this, “If you were not afraid and did not feel this lethargy and apathy what would you do? If there was nothing standing in your way and your dreams what would you do? ” I know you’re going to be mad, in fact so mad that I dared to post this here but I hope it shows you you.